A Letter To My Daughters About Modesty

Dear Ones:

Let’s have a frank discussion about modesty. There was a time in history when modesty was something to be valued. Women didn’t flaunt, and men didn’t ogle. Women wore beautiful, stylish clothing that made them look smart, successful, and self-controlled. And those appearances were backed up with equally honorable behavior. I realize that much of what you see in our culture today doesn’t reflect those values. I want you to know that it is okay to go against society on this one. In fact, it is way more than okay. It is honorable, necessary, and God-honoring to present yourself to the world in a way that is appropriate and modest.

You have a heavenly father who loves you and created you in His image. You are His beloved child, and He has great plans for you, plans that He put into motion before you were even born. He created you smart, strong, brave, powerful, and humble. Your outward appearance is a reflection of your heart. When you are walking in the plans He has for you, the way you dress and carry yourself will reflect it. But the opposite of that is also true. When you allow self-doubt, the need to impress, and hunger for attention to creep in, your dress and behavior will reflect that, too.

First Timothy 2:9-10 says, “Women should adorn themselves with respectable apparel, with modesty and self-control, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly attire, but with what is proper for women who profess godliness with good works.” The great thing about these verses is that they leave you so much room to have your own style. I’ve been shopping with you, so I know how hard it is to find modest clothing, but there are literally thousands of items of clothing that express who you are without being immodest. Have fun with fashion. Put outfits together that reflect your personality and interests. Accessorize like a champ. But do it in a way that tells the world that you are God’s child and you value your relationship with Him.

You see, Satan is active and working in the hearts of your generation. He tells young women that they aren’t pretty enough, smart enough, loved enough, funny enough, skinny enough, tall enough, WHATEVER enough. He leads them to be so insecure about themselves that they dress in ways that will bring attention to their bodies. Maybe it’s not a conscious thought, but it’s there nonetheless. He feeds them the lie that attention equals value, so they compromise their standards in the way they dress and the way they act. The problem is, there is always a payment for lowering your standards. What started out as a way for them to feel better about themselves ends up making them feel empty and sends them down a path to fill the insecure places. I want you to know there is nothing in this world that can satisfy your heart like a daily walk with Christ. Satan will tell you that you aren’t enough and so you need to destroy yourself and your reputation in order to gain the love of men. Jesus tells you that you aren’t enough, but He has been enough FOR you. He has placed Himself on the cross and born the weight of your sin because you are loved and important to Him. Cling to that. Show the world THAT.

You are beautiful. You are kind. You are smart. You are brave. You are a world changer. Dress to show the world that your heart is aligned with your Father’s heart. Never let insecurity, fear, or doubt have a voice in how you present yourself. Only speak, walk, dress, write, and live the love of Christ to everyone you meet. You are loved by your daddy and me, but you are so much more loved by Jesus.

You are always in my heart,


  1. Yes ma’am! Modesty is becoming instinct. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and giving us all a great reminder. Hope your weekend is wonderful!

  2. I wish more people would talk to their daughters about Modesty! Or stop sending them mixed signs when buying toys. I always see mothers buying this hideous looking dolls that they would never let their daughters dress like, but they still let them have them? Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts. Hope to see you at True Aim!

    • Ashley Mills Hill says

      Thanks, Tulip. Raising daughters can be tricky with so many negative influences in the world. Addressing modesty in conversation can help girls form a solid viewpoint that doesn’t get quite so affected by toys, commercials, magazines, etc.

  3. Well said! Very good post.

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