God has given us so many blessing in this life. One of the biggest, in my opinion, is that of true friendships. I have been fortunate enough to have some really great girlfriends in my time, and they have been a source of fun, inspiration, encouragement, and accountability. Each friend brings their own unique perspective and gifts to a relationship, and together they make up a fabulous support system and root system for me.
One of the things I have discovered about friendship is that it changes over the seasons of life. As a child, the main purpose of friendships was entertainment. I needed someone to play with, make-believe with, be girly with, and have fun with. As I grew into a teen, my friendships began to take on deeper meaning. While my girlfriends were still a constant source of laughter and fun, they also held me accountable for making godly choices. They became the curbs on the side of the road, keeping me on the straight and narrow path. Some of the friendships I formed in those years are still going strong today. It’s good to have friends that have known you 25+ years! It keeps you grounded. There is always someone who knows an embarrassing story about you 😉
These are some of my nearest and dearest at our high school reunion a couple of years ago. It’s so nice that though we have gone different ways in life, they are still friends I admire and enjoy hanging out with. Instead of teenagers looking for weekend fun, we are now educators, ministers, fitness coaches, homeschooling moms, architects, and writers. Instead of talking about boys, movies, the beach, and homework, we talk about our children, husbands, careers, and callings in life. And we still like to hang out on the beach. Some things, fortunately, never change 🙂
When children came along, most of my friends were the moms of their friends. Instead of hanging out with people who were all my age, my friends suddenly became people whose children were the same ages as mine. This was an interesting time because I really expanded my circle of friends when my girls came along. I became friends with other moms who I probably wouldn’t have connected with before. Our ages didn’t seem to matter as much as the stages in our children’s lives. In many cases, we were friends because they were friends. But even then, God provided ladies whom I loved and needed as a new mom. We were young and inexperienced, but we were young and inexperienced together. We were just figuring out how to be wives and mothers, and we had each other to talk through it all. We dealt with (and are still dealing with) aging parents, financial instability, the baby blues, career changes, marital problems, and questions about God. We read our way through scripture trying to figure it all out. We held onto that scripture and clung to it for dear life in some cases. We learned how deeply we needed each other and became grateful to the God who created friends. I loved our sense of community in those days.
Even though we don’t live close to them anymore, my Mississippi friends went through our marriage and the birth of our first daughter with me, so they will always hold a very special place in my heart. I’m grateful to regularly keep in touch with many of them.
Now that we’ve moved to Alabama and I have become a homeschooling mom and blog writer, I have new friends…
Just kidding.
Well, I’m kidding about being friends with The Pioneer Woman. I really do have a different set of friends now that I’m at a different place in my life. We have church friends, soccer friends, friends from our professional lives and various other groups. At this point in our lives, we have the most diverse group of friends we’ve ever had! And I LOVE it. I have friends who are younger than me, friends whose children are grown, friends who are involved in the same ministries we are, friends whose children I admire so I latch onto their parents’ advice, friends for whom we are mentors. My circle of friends has become, for me, such a beautiful display of the Body of Christ. Each one pours something different into my life, and I hope I do the same for them. As we are all so busy raising children, we simply do not have time for superfluous friendships. Friendships seem to be more purposeful and intentional. I find myself purposefully engaging more with people who share my same convictions and passions. Maybe I’m seeing that life really is short and that we don’t have much time to make an impact for God’s kingdom.
I am drawn to people who are making it happen.
People who are infusing light into dark places.
People who follow truth.
People who have urgency about reaching out to broken people.
And I desperately want to teach my girls to do the same. Some may call it controlling (whatever!), but I want to help my girls intentionally choose friends who share the same belief system our family does. I just feel that connecting with people who share your beliefs allows you to trust them for accountability, share with them in fun, and know how to handle life’s problem’s together. And my girls have been blessed with the same good fortune I have had. They have some AWESOME friends who have AWESOME parents!
I have prayed for my children since the day they were born that they would have godly friends who would provide fun, stability, accountability, roots, and memories for them. I know how much influence friends can have on each other, and I want that influence to be positive and used for good.
Good friends add so much depth and beauty to life! They add dimension and texture to our experiences. They come with their quirks and sensitivities and hilarities and laughter and they can turn a day around on a dime. It’s a big responsibility to be a friend. I’m so thankful for the ladies who have stepped up to the challenge with me and made such an impact on my life. I hope their mansion is next to mine in heaven!
What about you? What season are you in?
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